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A good friend of mine is single. He’s such a catch and I often wonder how he’s not married, especially given his stated intent to be married. We got to talking about marriage and the conversation went to commitment. He said he’s a committed man – his business is successful, his circle of friends is rich, his lifestyle is full of athletics and travel – he commits to many goals and sees them through. So why is commitment a big deal, anyway? Commitment to our goals is one level of engaging ourselves. The greater riches of commitment are cashed in [...]

I checked in with my wife and kids in Atlanta for our flight to San Diego. As the ticket agent was taking our suitcase, I knew in my heart I will not be seeing that suitcase anytime soon. I just knew it. Have you ever had that unshakable certainty, even as you wished mightily to be wrong?? The gate agent was flustered, disinterested, and showed no signs of service to us, the customer. Two other agents at that counter seemed equally annoyed to be there, and lacked the skills we expect from customer facing staff. We changed planes in Phoenix. [...]

My daughter came sobbing into the house. She is usually pretty tough, so when she cries in pain, I know to pay attention. She was swinging in the hammock with her friend and they tipped the hammock. My daughter landed on the ground and her friend, on top of her. I saw no bruises or cuts. I prescribed the usual, ice the arm and take it easy for a while. I saw no evidence of any significant injury and found it hard to believe there was something really wrong. Three days she continued to complain. She couldn’t lift her arm, [...]

I was interviewed about helping leaders make positive changes through executive coaching. One of the questions really captured my attention, “What do you believe causes change?” Through 12 years of coaching intelligent and mature executives, and over my own lifetime of effort, I know that behavior change is difficult. As a facilitator, coach, and trainer I’ve observed a pattern among those who deliberately and successfully alter their behavior; a pattern I refer to as ABC – Awareness, Belief, Collaboration. Awareness: positive change starts with personal recognition and acceptance that something can – and should – be better. In the absence of awareness, we have [...]

During a hiking trip in a remote mountain range, a narrow but deep canyon cut my trail. I hiked northwards along the canyon lip, but found no passage. An hour later, having retraced my steps and gone further south, I found a lightning-felled Ponderosa pine that spanned the canyon. It was sixty feet long, thick and strong, and anchored in place by its remaining roots. The first ten feet were easy, as the log was on solid ground. During the thirty feet over the chasm, however, I was filled with anxiety. Physically, things were the same – the log was [...]

We are often told that compromise is a mature sign of negotiation. We are told that marriages are all about compromise. We are told that it’s better to give a little and keep the peace. We are told that compromise is a win-win… I don’t believe any of this! King Solomon is considered to be one of the wisest men of history. His wisdom was dearly tested when two mothers came before his court claiming motherhood rights of the same baby. They both insisted that baby was theirs. Solomon, after hearing them and deliberating the problem, offered a compromise. He [...]

Good news per Gallup  is that 29% of employees are truly “engaged.” The concerning news is that 54% of poll respondents are “disengaged.” But the scary part is that 17% of employees are “actively disengaged.” By making organizations flat (fewer layers of management) we have significantly increased the busyness of managers, and equally decreased the time and attention that managers and team members share; a fact that has escalated the occurrences of negative workplace relationships. These negative workplace relationships, in turn, are contributing to the majority of American employees being disengaged or actively disengaged, and why so much time, energy [...]